It never occurred to me to consider why I never really fully lost myself in a ritual or spell while I was at home, but I easily could at college. It might have something to do with the energy of this house. It’s never felt like a home to me. My dorm back in Missouri does. How sad?
It might also have to do with the humidity of the state. Texas is gross and sticky all the time and I’m humble enough to admit that I hate bugs. My environment adds a lot to my practice and if I’m somewhere that’s buggy and dirty and humid then I’m just not going to be as into it as I should be. I’m going to try my hardest to push past this and try to find a place here that doesn’t spiritually disgust me, but until then my rituals are going to be minimalistic. Rituals of gesture or quiet prayer is going to replace my full on tasks.
In other news, I’ve come into contact with Hellenic Reconstruction and I’m very much converting to it. I have a problem, I think. I’ve been bouncing from religion to religion every year since I found Wicca.
I went from Wiccan to Norse Pagan to Luciferian to Ecletic Wiccan to Ecletic Pagan and now to Orphic Hellenic.
I’ve been reading more and more into the religion and it’s very complex. It’s old. It’s going to have to start with me simply opening up my heart and soul to the Theoi and focus on those gods. One thing that bothered me about my Ecletic time was that I was pulling gods from three different religions (Norse, Luciferian and Hellenic) so now I think everything will be much simpler and more solid. I didn’t like being so spread so thinly, but now my love and focus will be in one belief system
I’m not sure how I’m going to let Lucifer truly go. Honestly, I don’t think I ever will. He did so much for me in high school, I could never just forget about him, but I am going to graciously shake Thor’s hand, be pulled into a bear hug and be released into the arms of Zeus.
I’m going to worship all the Theoi, but my focus will continue to be Persephone, Demeter and Hekate. I’m also very much interested in the Nymphs and their role. (If I wasn’t so opposed to the idea of “kin” I’d definitely identify as a river or meadow nymph).
It’s going to be a process. A slow one. But I think I found a solid religion. Now the only issue will be figuring out holidays. I feel that I need to let the Wiccan holidays go. The lore behind them is connected to gods I’ve never had a connection with and I don’t doubt that there’s Hellenic holidays so.
Wish me luck!