My First Failed Spell

There’s some parts of life that I think witchcraft shouldn’t be influencing it. Physical life and death, immoral fiscal income, and, most importantly, the gods.

I see people on Tumblr and such talk about how they interact with their gods and I feel disgusted. The gods are indeed above us. Whether you strive to be them, be beside them or be loved by them, they are higher beings. Higher beings that, if you claim to worship them, you should do just that. Worship. Maybe this is a personal ideal, but I don’t see worship as manipulating, disgracing or ignoring these god’s demands. This is the only way eclecticism works. If worshiping the Theoi calls for certain shrines and tools, you get those shrines and tools. If worshiping the Theoi calls for a certain attitude, no matter what, you have that attitude while interacting with them. People on Tumblr calling their gods “little shits” and “douche bags” is so horrifying to me.

Back to my initial point, I do consider nature a god. The earth, the skies, weather and everything that nature outputs, is a deity. The Theoi give names to these acts. And I said before that I don’t approve of using witchcraft to influence the gods, right?

Well last weekend Knoxville raceway was having their sprint car opening and there was rain in the forecast, of course. It is April, after all. But I so badly wanted to see this race and even more so I wanted my boyfriend to see it. Sprint cars are this guy’s passion. Seeing his face light up when hot laps start is like seeing the sun rise. So, I worked out a Rain Stay Away spell.

I had my reservations from the very beginning, which probably added to the outcome, but I did it anyway. Hell, it’s Iowa. The weather around this part of the world is sporadic as fuck, maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. The spell was carefully crafted, I Incorporated a offering to Zeus, Hera and Iris within it, all the major sky gods I could think of plus a general offering to nature herself. I knew deep down this was going to blow up, but I tried it anyway.

I was wrong.

The race got rained out, so my boyfriend and I went back to the camp site. From there, there was hail, violently terrifying lightening and thunder that sent me into a panic attack (which isn’t common at all, I love thunder, but this just shook me to a deeper point that night). It got so bad that we slept in the car.

Afterwards, I went through my stages of grief. Before that moment, I could, with confidence and honesty, say that a spell never failed me. There was always a desired outcome, although not always exactly how I plan, but things always worked out until now. I was convinced for a moment I wasn’t a real witch, that I didn’t have the spark or the drive inside me, that I was nothing but a sad loser that ruined everything.

The next morning I felt slightly better. My boyfriend (I’ll just say the Virgo from now on) reassured me that this was just a circumstance thing. That every other spell I did for him worked and has continued to work. It was just a lesson I needed to learn.

I unraveled the spell and offered the herbs within it as an offering to nature as an apology for trying to control her.

The drive there and back was safe, I actually did have a good time, because I love travelling and camping and my Virgo. My mental illness can’t even ruin that weekend for me, I genuinely did have such a good time. It was definitely eye opening though. I know my god’s boundaries now and I’ll respect them completely. I guess it’s something to brag about, I’ve been doing this for seven years and this is the first time a spell of mine has backfired.

Pretty cool, if I do say so myself.

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